Tag: DBSA

Has a friend or family member told you to “snap out of it” or “get over it”?

Christina DunbarLeave a comment

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard these responses to my depression. As if it’s that easy. Anyone who tells you “You’re just having a bad day. You’ll feel better in the morning” has clearly not experienced the crippling agony and utter devastation of depression.

Thankfully, there are programs in place that help family members understand and support their loved ones with mental illness. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) and The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) run programs and support groups for family members and friends.

The Lehigh Valley DBSA holds weekly support group meetings on Wednesdays at First Presbyterian Church on Tilghman St in Allentown from 7-9 pm. Contact information can be found by clicking here.

Another resource to help friends and family members understand mental illness and support their loved ones is NAMI’s Family-to-Family program, a free 12-session educational program taught by trained family members who have been there.

If friends and family members are not able to attend support meetings or participate in programs, there are plenty of websites to guide them. I referred my husband here.

The Power of Peer Support Groups

Christina DunbarLeave a comment

I wasn’t going to go to my weekly DBSA meeting. I was tired, it was dark, and I had a long day. In fact, I’ve been stuck in a rut for the past two weeks–nothing severe, just low motivation and returning to old poor habits. But something pushed me, I got myself out the door, and I drove to the church where my peer support group meets every Wed.

I shared my struggle with motivation and the general heaviness I’ve been feeling lately with the rest of the group. As usual, I got helpful supportive suggestions from people who also struggle with anxiety and depression (e.g., making daily lists of small tasks, embedding a reward system, focusing on one goal at a time, being gentle with myself).

As the meeting progressed, I found myself becoming gradually more interested and invested in others’ stories and even offering feedback and encouragement. One thing is certain: it is very difficult to feel down when you are helping someone else. There is also comfort in feeling like you are not alone and no one is judging you.  Participating in peer groups also takes me out of my own head and my own self-doubt and worries.  In fact, peer support group is one of my strongest allies in fighting this disease and keeping my depression at bay. These people get me. Or as Sally Fields would say, “they like me. They really like me!”

And if that isn’t enough of a reason to drag myself off the couch, this last part is. After the meeting, a young man (19 years old) came up to me and told me that he remembered me from when I spoke at the hospital when he was hospitalized in September. He thanked me and told me my story inspired him and I was the reason he was there.

He will never know how much his words mean to me and how much I needed to hear them. A huge smile spread across my face and I swear I floated out that door.

Skeletons in the Closet

Christina DunbarLeave a comment

At the last DBSA meeting, a peer shared the following advice given to him by a therapist when he was a young boy struggling with PTSD:

We all have skeletons in our closets. When we leave home, those skeletons stay in the closet. You leave them behind. But when you come home, they are still there. You may not see them, but you know they are there. At first you may just look at the closet. Maybe next time you move closer to the closet, but you still don’t open the door. Then you may touch the doorknob. The next time you might open the door and peek in. Eventually, when you are ready, you open the door, and take one skeleton out.  Deal with that one skeleton.  Once that one is handled, you move onto the next.

One skeleton at a time.